Thank Gawd We Survived the War Party
by Hi to Kori Gumi
Summary: The GW boys are invited to a party hosted by Relena and Dorothy. Cursing and other inapropriate things *grin* This one is not for the Relena lovers. Written by: Ashley Akaihi & D.


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Gundam Wing: 'Thank Gawd We Survived the War' Party

By: Ashley Akaihi & D

Disclaimer: err…The usual crap I suppose. *Sigh* Sadly the boys aren't ours but we wish they were. I promise to try to return them in one piece only so that the next writer may abuse them. 

Theres no Yaoi or Shounen Ai in this one, but there is quite a bit of cursing…

Enjoy! -Ashe~Chan ^-~*

Just remember that certain portions are written by different people, so you'll know about it first…

Akaihi wrote:

Relena is on a break from her 'Delegation-Psycho-Babble-Crap' and is having a small chat with Dorothy *gag noises are heard*

Relena: I so do miss Heero…

Dorothy: Well you know Miss Relena, you could host a small congratulation party for the 'Gundam Boys.'

Relena: Why yes, Dorothy, I think I shall. For once you said something good that didn't involve destruction or war! I'll just throw a little 'Thank god we survived the war party' for our boys.

Dorothy: Wise decision. I'm so ever glad that you thought it up…

* * *

D wrote:

Quatre: Hey, we got an invitation to a party! *Cute, anger melting look*

Duo: From who?

Quatre: From Miss Darlian and Miss Catalonia.

Heero: You mean that bitch with the freaky shaped eyebrows?

Quatre: Hey, that was uncalled for!!!

Duo: Actually, she is a bitch and she does have freaky shaped eyebrows.

Quatre goes into his room, opens his closet, and searches for his best pink shirt, only to find all of'em missing. 

He runs back into the living room screaming: **"P I I I N K !"**

Quatre breaks down babbling about pink or something.

The boys just ignore, not caring about anything pink

Heero: when is the party so I can kill her.

Everyone laughs

Trowa: So when is the party, Quatre? 

Quatre: Go look for yourself you lazy bastard!!! Cant you see I'm busy!

He grabs Heero by scruff of collar.

Quatre: Have you seen my pink shirts!? *look only seen once I.E. Zero System*

Heero: No! Quit babbling!

Quatre collapses then starts hyperventilating: "Pink, *gasp, cough, wheeze* Shirts *one last breathe* PINK!!!

When he recovers he finds himself in a Gundam, flying to Relena's

* * *

Akaihi wrote:

Night of the Party

Relena looking rather bored while waiting for her guest in a chair by the door then she hears:…

Voice 1: Do we REALLY have to be here. I can think of at least one place I'd rather be at, then spending it here with your personal stalker girl, at a party that we almost didn't live for!!

Voice 2: Braid boy no baka! Of course you have to be here!

Voice 3: Have some manners!

Voice 1: You're just mad 'cause I shrunk your best shirt!

Voice 3 in shock: Y..Y..You WHAT!? P…PINK!

Voice 1: Oi! Gomen nasai! ^-^;;

*Gurgling noises are heard*

Voice 4: Hey you 2! Break it up…Err..Quat le'go! He's turnin' Blue!

***SMASH**……..**CRASH**………**CLUNK**……….**DING DONG***

Relena jumps up at the sound of the door bell and swings the door open instantly:* surprised* Oh, I didn't think you guys would show up (or at least in tact)

*Unconscience Duo with smashed flower pot over head*

Quatre: *kawaii smile* Don't mind him.

Relena: err…okay. Heero…everyone…come in.

Dorothy's voice from kitchen: Miss Relena, is everyone here already?

*At the sound of her voice, Quatre hides behind Trowa's back and peeks out from behind*

Quatre: Keep the scary fork-eyed woman away from me!

Relena sighed: Yes, Dorothy, it's them…

Dorothy's voice: Sake anyone?

* * *

20 min. later everyone is pretty much plastered And so the fun begins…

D wrote:

Even wasted Quatre is fully aware of Dorothy on the other side of the room

*Finds this out by peeking out from behind Trowa's chair every once in a while*

Heero: For gods sake get out from behind that damn chair.

Quatre slowly gets up, still very afraid.

Suddenly Wufei unsheathes his katana and started for Duo.

Duo: You baka! Too much Saki! Get the hell away from me! *Frantic look*

Relena smashes a pot over Wufei's head: I will not have war in this house.

Duo: Thanks!

They shake hands

Dorothy starts advancing on Quatre

Quatre: Eyebrows too big!…Going to cut me! Aahhhh!

Dorothy: Come here you little cutie!

Halfway to Quatre she passes out on the floor

Everyone laughs, except Quatre who was deeply traumatized

Heero: Finally. She was annoying.

Quatre lets out a nervous laugh

* * *

Akaihi wrote:

Trowa (obviously drunk): Hey, Quat, check this out! *Trowa holds up his hand, revealing 4 VERY sharp throwing knifes. 

He scans the room for a target.: Ah! Victim found…Here kitty, kitty, kitty!

***WHAP***

Relena screams: MR.FLUFFERS!!!

*Trowa misses the cat by an inch*

Relena (gathers cat into her arms): Just what the hell did you think you were doing!?

Trowa: Ummm…Practicing my act for the circus? *Sheepish smile*

Relena: Wrong! Now sit in the corner and think about what you've done! *She points*

*Trowa actually goes into the corner*

Duo: Hey, everyone! Good news! Because I've heard 'Lena's cooking is…err…interesting…I've taken the liberty of ordering us a pizza.

*Everyone cheers except Relena, Heero, and obviously Dorothy (who is passed out)*

Relena: I kinda didn't see the humor in that one…

30 min. later the doorbell rings and it's the Pizza Dude…

Heero (opens door): You're late…

Pizza Dude (w/nasty zits and freckles on his face): No I'm not!

Heero: I timed you. See. (Holds up quadruple-chronograph-army- ized-watch which shows he's about 30 seconds late) on time or it's free remember?

Pizza Dude: No way, man. That wasn't covered in my contract. Now pay up!

Heero presses his gun to his head: Omae o korosu!

*Pizza Dude hands over pizza, wets his pants, screams out "Mommy!" then makes a break for it and runs like hell*

Heero puts gun back in spandex shorts: Arigatou… *takes out a remote control and presses a big-red-shiny-button and Wing Zero comes out of the sky and steps on the quickly retreating Pizza Dude.

*SQUISH* Eeeeeeeeewie!!

*Slams door and dust off his hands*

Heero: Dinner is served…

D wrote:

Everyone runs towards the pizza then Relena steps in the way

Relena: We will eat like civilized people. My piece first.

Duo: OK, mom.

While still in the corner Trowa pulls a rope from his pants and ties it onto two of his daggers and with deadly accuracy hooks two slices of pizza and quickly reels them in. no one notices him. He laughs to himself.

Trowa: Mwa ha ha ha

Relena sets the table with plates, forks, and knifes. She puts the pizza on the plates. Before she can say anything, they throw her out of the way and just dig in. 

Duo took 3 slices. This was bad.

Heero: You greedy bastard!

Akaihi wrote:

Duo: Hey, you should know me by now! *Grin* I'm Duo Maxwell! The human vacuum!

Heero: You better eat your 1st piece before you take another!

Duo *thinks about it for a min.* : Hmm….Naw! *Makes a run for it* Neener! Neener!

Heero: Damn Americans! Get back here *chases after Duo*

*Duo stumbles over a passed out Dorothy, gets back up, then trips over Wufei, giving Heero the chance to catch up and grab him by the braid just as Duo was a few feet away from hitting the floor*

Heero: Give me the pizza or I let go…

*Duo shoves all 3 pieces into his mouth*

*THUD* OW! DAMN YOU! THAT HURT!

* * *

Quatre (with evil grin) pulls out a jar of Nads (hair removing wax) and pours the caramel colored wax all over Dorothy's misshapen eyebrows than places a white strip of cloth over it. With one quick motion he rips off the strip…

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! ! !

WHAT THE . . .?

*Dorothy gets up and runs into the bathroom*

Dorothy from B.R.: CHRIST! I look like Relena! Hmmm…it doesn't look that bad. Maybe now I can get myself a real man.

Quatre: (Snicker Snicker)

Duo: She couldn't get a man if she actually tried!

Dorothy (calling out): Ooooh, Quatre! *Opens door* Where are you!? I wanna slather you in butter and spank you with a spatula!

Quatre: *runs away* AAAAAAAHHH! ! I've only made it worse! Allah forgive me!!

D wrote:

Dorothy: C'mere my little bunkumboo!

Quatre (behind couch): Dear God! *Murmuring to himself*

Heero: Quit stalking Quatre, you Relena wannabe.

Relena: I resent that!

Heero: Omae o korosu! Relena!

(fishing in his shorts)

(he pulls out a teddy bear)

Heero: IT'S NOT MINE!!!

(more fishing)

(pulls out another half of Trowa's mask)

Trowa: HEY, GIMME! Wait, no, it might have penis lint!

(More fishing)

(pulls out Quatre's violin)

Quatre: You said it was lost!!!

(Heero finally pulls out his gun and caps Relena and Dorothy. Everyone (including Relena-Haters) Rejoice and celebrate!

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Owari

Well….I guess that's the ending to our crappy fan fic. ^-^;; (Ashe-Chan has the sudden urge to smack D) err…please review our fan fic..Pweeaase! Reviews, request, and flames are to be sent to Ashley Akaihi E-mail: YuffieRulzWutai@cs.com


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